As a culture we tend to get it all wrong when it come to grief!
In general we expect people to grieve in a very linear way, where a person moves from one stage to the next with ease and consistency. And this process should never take longer than a year.
But apparently grief never read the rules and very rarely looks the way it’s “supposed to.”
Grief is messy, complicated and unpredictable…just like the love it is born out of!
When in grief we are often meet by people who mean well but are uncomfortable with the heaviness and emotions that accompany the grieving process and they say and/or do all the wrong things. Causing the grieving individual to feel lonely and isolating.
The good news is therapy can help. By not trying to change or take away a clients sadness but rather by sitting alongside them and allow the feelings to just be, we pay honor to the life, love and relationship lost.
My philosophy on grief is simple, it is not a final destination that you reach where you finally accept and move on but rather grieving is a journey of healing, and a process that cannot be rushed. Our experiences are carried with us for a lifetime and therefore we never “get over it” when we lose something or someone close to us. Rather we carry them and our experience of them in our hearts. Even though the wound caused by loss eventually heals, and the excruciation pain lessens, we will always wear the scar and feel a slight ache from that love that we lost. Our grief never goes away but rather our experience of and relationship to it changes.
So whether you are grieving a loss or trying to support someone who is, I would love to support you through the process.